I am Puzzled

Can somebody please tell me why the fish I can't straighten my knee? It's been like this all day and it just won't... Do what I tell it to. >.> Does this count on my "My Knees are Stupid" counter thingy? Seriously, what the heck? It's like it's locked... But in a slightly bent position. It feels like the kneecap isn't quite right... Or something. Very irritating. Wellp, guess I'd better get to putting it back, if I can... Been trying all day with no luck. -.- Why can't I have normal problems like everyone else? *sadface*

Lynx. Yeah. I'm lazy and don't feel like formatting. *shrug*

It Looks So Pink...

"It" being my Christmas tree. I actually put it up early this year. Yaaay! This means I won't have to worry about it twenty minutes before the family gets here Christmas Eve. Yay again. But... It's so pink-ish looking. Like every other light is a pink one. Then again, I suppose that shouldn't be surprising. Pink is related to red, and red projects the farthest. *shrug* Yay for science. There's a lot of yay in this post.

I have no idea what I want to cook for dinner. I forgot to pull stuff out. Including bread. Dur. I'll think of something. After I let my body decompress and my brain stops spinning from going around the tree eighty-million times... @.@ Spinning bad.

I probably looked like such a dope earlier too, when I was cleaning the living room. Am I the only one that dances randomly while Swiffer-ing? My dance moves SUCK. lol.

Sooo yeah. The tree is up, the living room is clean, and I'm hungry but too lazy to get up and make something right now. Yep. All's well.

Ciao,

Lynx

I Did It Again.

Damn these knees... Though I suppose I can count myself lucky this time; Just a pop, not a full dislocation. Seriously though... ASKASFJSDLJFKSJF!!! Yeah.

I think I'm gonna have to do a post every time it happens, from now to July, since that's when the first dislocated knee happened, just to see how many times in a year this can happen. Hopefully it will stay at four, but to be honest, I'm not that optimistic.

Irritating. I need a bubble. Or a hamster wheel. Or something. I had a knee brace once-- borrowed it from my cousin. Gave it back since I could never figure out which knee to put it on. They're both loose and funky and messed up and ANNOYING AS... Y'know what? I'm over it.

My body's not. Apparently this hurts. (If the shaking hands, blurry vision, and spiked body temperature are reliable indicators.) But I'm good at ignoring pain. So if I say it doesn't hurt, then it doesn't.

It doesn't hurt.

Since I don't want the entire post to be about my faulty knees, I'll write something else.

...Shit.
Oh! Oh, I know! I finished one of the edges for the blanket I'm knitting. Got it all attached and everything. Now there's just one more to go and I'm all set. ^^

Can't believe Thanksgiving is this week. Ugh, where did the year go? I still have so much that needs to be done. Speaking of which, I forgot to buy apples the last time I was out grocery shopping. Can't make apple crisp without apples, so I guess another shopping trip is in order. Yay.

What else, what else? Gosh, is my life really that boring when I'm not injuring myself? That's depressing. >.>

Alright. I'm thirsty. I'm going to grab a glass of water, go to bed and pretend that this *flails at knee* didn't happen.

Ciao,

Lynx

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

                                                                                                          --Albert Einstein.

Stuff Happens

Yep. Couldn't think of a better title for the post. Almost wrote the date and left it there.
So. As was predicted, our open house didn't do very well. *shrug* Worth a try though.
Anyway, I later discovered that I had shingles. Which is weird, 'cause I JUST turned 22, and you usually don't get shingles 'til you're fifty or older. But my body's always been kind of weird, so I guess I can't be too puzzled if it suddenly thinks it's fifty. -.-

Oh, right. I'm back in school. Thank God. I've lost so much time. *sigh* I'm not sure there was a right way to handle the house and my schooling without someone getting hurt somewhere along the line. So even though some of my loans are entering repayment, I'll just have to deal. I'll figure it out. I always do.

I can't believe the year is almost over. Lately it just feels like there's not enough time in the day to do everything I need to. That nagging voice in the back of my head keeps not-so-subtly reminding me that I'm taking on way too much, trying to do more than any one person could accomplish, and in an unrealistic amount of time. But, you know, that's the only way I know how to do these things. It's always been like this, so I don't know how to lay off and not work myself into the ground.

I'm not worried about stress; this is nothing new, and no one's dying this time, so that's good. I'll probably get sick from it a few times, but those bouts only last about a week, so I'll be fine.

Today is one of those rare days where I actually have a surprising amount of free time. I'll spend it knitting. I'm almost done with this blanket I'm making-- just the edges to do and it'll be all done. So proud of myself for coming so far on it. And it looks great, too. I'll definitely be taking pictures once it's finished. I just hope I get it done in time to ship out for Christmas. I should... There's not all THAT much left to do. So yeah, I'll just get to that.

Ciao,

Lynx

"Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time' is to say 'I don't want to.'"

                                                                                                                  --Lao Tzu

I Messed Up.

It was a mistake to put my schooling on hiatus while we prepared to sell our house and move. I should have stood firm against it. I should have seen this coming. And, at least partially, I did. But damn, that doesn't make it sting any less.

I put my dreams, my future on hold. So we could go after my mom's dreams and plans. I figured that a fresh start in a new place would be good for us both. I just hoped that everything would be over and done with before my mother said "Screw it."

Missed it.
'Cause that's what just happened.

So here I am, trying to drag her butt along to get this house ready for an open house tomorrow. She doesn't think we're going to get any interest.

Of course we won't if we don't even try... And her response was "whatever."
Whatever? WHATEVER?! She's fifty-two frecking years old and the only response she can come up with is whatever?! Gods above, I have patience, and tact, and empathy, but that only goes so far. Especially when she also mentioned that she doesn't care.

Doesn't care about what, exactly?
About the fact that I'm now the one trying to get this thing going again?
Or the one doing the vast majority of the work?
How 'bout how I'm trying to get her motivated and stay optimistic? (Which is really hard, btw)

Is it the house?
She doesn't care if it sells or not?
Well she should've thought about that BEFORE she put it on the damn market.

Or does she not care that I took six (very valuable) months off my schooling so we could have a shot at this?
That's what hurts me the most.
I was willing to do this for her, and now that things are tough and not going perfectly, she "doesn't care."

And I'm supposed to just be okay with that? I'm not. That's a really, awful, hurtful thing to say.

I thought that after everything we've gone through she'd at least understand by now that life doesn't always go the way we plan it to. Sometimes we get dealt a shitty hand, and there's nothing we can do but play it as best we can and hope the next round is better. Guess I overestimated her.

Too bad for me, though, 'cause we're in this, and I'm NOT letting us back out. She might half-ass her way through things and give up when it doesn't go her way, but not me. I finish what I start. I'm gonna sell this house. I'll find a way. And if I can't find a way, then I'll MAKE one. 'Cause that's how I do things.

And on that, I have a floor to mop, and cookies to bake. Let's hope for a few bites on this house tomorrow, yeah? And even if not, I'm not giving up.

Ciao,

Lynx

"I'd rather fight, and lose, then give up without even trying!"

                                                                        --Vanille, Final Fantasy XIII

Dammit...

Dammit, dammit, dammit, DAMMIT. >.<

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL?!

I just dislocated my other knee. Like... Maybe twenty minutes ago. Probably less. This is getting troublesome.
*sigh* Dammit.

I need to talk to someone about this; it can't continue. I won't allow it.

Frustrating. Really, really frustrating. There's always something, isn't there?

For my part, I forced myself up off the floor and made myself walk. I have a crutch at my bedside now, because I'm sure that by tomorrow... well, later today, when I get up, my leg won't be able to bear weight.

My hands are still shaking a bit from the pain of it, but you know... I think my ass hurts more than my leg. I think I hit my bedframe or something on the way down. That's sure to bruise. -.-

It's funny. I don't know whether I should be proud for my stubbornness in getting up so quickly, or if I should call myself a moron. Heh. Probably both.

Great. Frecking peachy. Another three (two, if I can force it) days of being laid up, generally unable to move. ... Didn't I just frecking do this?!

*headdesk* I hate this Gods-damned body.

Good thing I didn't get rid of those stupid crutches... >.>

Lynx

Is This Supposed to be a Joke? 'Cause It's NOT Funny.

On the one hand, you don't want to believe that your own relatives would want to do something like this. Certainly not on purpose. But at the same time, you know them well enough that the situation seems very plausible and you can't force yourself to be surprised.

What is with this family?

My uncle is a contractor. He was the one who did the majority of the renovations to our house in 2010. However, there were a few things left unfinished that we needed him to take care of before we got our house on the market. My mother asked him to handle these things in February, to which he replied that he had a few jobs to finish up before hand. No big deal. Except, February is long gone and he STILL hasn't come to do what he said he was going to. He doesn't have time to fix the ceiling in our garage, but he does have time to drop over and cut my grass (after yelling at me for not getting out at the crack of eight in the morning) for three hours. >.>

While that may be irritating, that's not the cause of my current frustration. We got someone else to fix the ceiling. There was one other thing that my uncle "took care of" for us. We have an out building-- it used to have a pool in it but it's been long filled in. Anyway, the realtor said that we needed to have access to the building, which was a problem since it had been boarded up after some neighborhood brats decided to trespass and blab to their moms about it. Wouldn't ya know, the police were called in to threaten us with a heavy fine if we didn't close off the "dangerous space." Anyway, now that the building needs to be open again, we had to put a door on-- with a lock, obviously-- and we had to practically beg my uncle to do so. He did, and handed us the keys, saying they worked just fine and see you later, etc. We handed off the spare keys to the realtor...

They're the wrong keys. So, in other words, my uncle lied to us, knowing full well that the realtor wouldn't be able to show that building to potential buyers, which could be a deal breaker for many. Maybe it was an accident, and I'd like to believe that it was but... Our relatives have made it quite clear that they're against our moving. (Why it's any of their business I'm not sure.) Knowing that, and how childish and immature these people are known for being... I can't shake the feeling that this was done on purpose.

That's pretty low. To say your doing a favor for your family, then outright lie to them about it so they can't do something you're against. He even accepted the money we paid him for putting the door on. Like it was nothing. Man. Can't even trust my own family anymore, how sad is that?

Ciao,

Lynx

"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."

                                                                  --Stephen King