Once Upon A Time

I did a survey. It was a very long time ago, but I did post it on the previous blog, which I just went through a little while ago out of curiosity. So much has changed, I wonder if my answers have too?

  Everybody has a main best friend. Who's yours?      Hm. Probably Bear.

What are you listening to now?     The Agonist: Panaphobia

 What are your plans for tomorrow?    A funeral, as depressing as that is.

 In the past week, have you lost a friend?  I don't think so. A relative though, yes. Sadly

 Yelled at someone?  Nope.

What did you do today?Ehm... Some knitting. And dishes. And stuff. 

 Do you like flowers?  Love them.

Did you enjoy your day yesterday?  Yes, I do believe I did. Days are gifts

Hate is a strong word, who do you hate?    No one. Hate self-inflicted poison.

 Do you drink a lot of water? Probably not nearly as much as I should

Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Do my cats count? Otherwise, it's been longer                                                                                                                         than I can remember.

Where did you get your last bruise/scratch from? The shower, I think

 Have you ever thought you were gonna die?   Hm. I suppose I have.

 What kind of mood are you in today?   Resigned, I guess.

 What were you doing at 8 this morning?    Sleeping. XD

 How late did you stay up last nigh and why?  Oh, God. It had to be after two in the morning. Bad,                                                                                                                                           bad schedule

Do you miss anyone?   Yeah, I do. A couple people, actually

 Where did you get the top you're wearing?  The Elephant House in Edinburgh, Scotland.

  Ever been lied to be someone you thought would never lie to you? Of course I have.

What are you craving right now?   You know, I actually can't think of anything. I am content.         Do you want kids anytime soon?  Gods, no. I am many things, but I doubt a mother is one of them.

 Are you hiding something from someone  close to you? Not that I can think of, no.

 Is there something you want to tell someone, but can't?  No, not currently.

 Someone says to you now, "Let's go  to a party and get trashed." You say:"No thank you; but take pictures."

Will you sleep alone tonight?  Indeed. A single bed is a bit small for more than one, aye?

 Any plans for next weekend?  Eh. Probably cleaning and getting the house ready for Christmas Eve.

 Is there anyone you would seriously punch  right now if you had the chance?  Heaven's no.

What woke you up today?    My alarm

Anything good happening tomorrow? A funeral. So yeah, no.

Would you buy $1000 shoes if they were the "perfect" pair for you?  lol no. My pocket money is WELL below $1000. Sorry.

 Are you more laid back, or a perfectionist? I am a laid back perfectionist.

Do you find it disgusting when a boy bends over or   jumps and the top of his underwear can be seen? I think high school desensitized me; I have no comment.

When's the last time you deliberately skipped a class? Never. No reason, not worth it. 

 Last time you saw snow?     Well, the ground IS currently covered in it, so... yeah. December.

 Are you excited for next year?    Kind of. I just hope people stay healthy. Me included. lol

What is worse, physical or emotional pain?  Depends on the individual. I know I'd rather have a broken leg than a broken heart.

Can you play pool?  Lol naw. Whatever "skills" I might've had are  probably gone now.

Would you take someone back if they cheated on you?  That would require me dating them to begin with, so irrelevant question.

Do you believe in the saying "What goes around comes around"?  Indeed. Ah, Sweet Karma

 Are you missing anyone or something?   I suppose so... But didn't I answer that already?

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?  10 years is a long time. I guess anything's possible, but I wouldn't count on it.

 How fast does your mood change? Not too fast. I'm pretty consistent/ mellow.

 Do you want your tongue pierced? HELL YES! ... lol no. Sounds painful. And I have a hard enough time speaking properly as it is.

 How many children do you want? As I've said before-- I'm not so sure I'm cut out  to be a mother. I'll stick with my cats.

Are you a jealous person?  You know, I don't think so.

 You're thinking about someone, aren't you?  Consciously? Not so much, no.

 Do you like hugs?   I'm not sure. It's been so long since I've actually had a hug... I'm not sure how I'd respond anymore. >.>

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Absolutely. But I also believe that those second chances need to be earned.

Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Unfortunately, yes.

 Are you wasting your time on someone?  No. I don't waste time.

 Would you ever get a tattoo?    I have four. So yes, I guess I would.

Do you get along with girls?   Yeah. Where the flip did that come from?

Have you ever slapped someone in the face?    No. 

 Have you ever licked someone's forehead or cheek? Indeed I have. *chuckle*

Any upcoming events you're excited about? Well, Christmas is soon... 

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?  Yes. Though fewer than before.

Have you ever dyed your hair?  Yes I have.

 Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?    Yes. My dad's flannel shirts are extra comfy.

It's Too Early For This

Noon doesn't seem early, but I don't think there's ever a good time for this kind of news. Another relative passed away on Monday. His funeral is tomorrow.

He had cancer. Lots of cancer. It was in his bones, and in his brain, his kidneys were shutting down. I can't imagine he was comfortable, but I hope his passing was at least peaceful. His wife is taking it hard, I don't doubt. It's always hard but... Man, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.

So there's another one gone. And apparently another still is at his final days, seeing as they're throwing the word Hospice around. I may well have another funeral to attend before the year is out. If not then, then I'm certain the first part of next. 2013 has been... bumpy.

Still, we move on. We have to. The world keeps turning no matter how much we struggle. Time waits for no one. With every black cloud there remains a silver lining. The dead might be lost, but never forgotten. So this Christmas season we should all be that much more thankful for the family we still have. Nothing lasts forever, so we should cherish our kin while we still can.

Now, enough of that. As I said, time waits for no one, and I have cookies to bake and a blanket to finish... Dishes to do and laundry. At least my knee finally fixed itself. I'd be grateful to not have to deal with that again-- I like being able to walk without a limp, it's faster.

Ciao,

Lynx

"The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it."

                                                                                                       --Mary Catherine Bateson

I am Puzzled

Can somebody please tell me why the fish I can't straighten my knee? It's been like this all day and it just won't... Do what I tell it to. >.> Does this count on my "My Knees are Stupid" counter thingy? Seriously, what the heck? It's like it's locked... But in a slightly bent position. It feels like the kneecap isn't quite right... Or something. Very irritating. Wellp, guess I'd better get to putting it back, if I can... Been trying all day with no luck. -.- Why can't I have normal problems like everyone else? *sadface*

Lynx. Yeah. I'm lazy and don't feel like formatting. *shrug*

It Looks So Pink...

"It" being my Christmas tree. I actually put it up early this year. Yaaay! This means I won't have to worry about it twenty minutes before the family gets here Christmas Eve. Yay again. But... It's so pink-ish looking. Like every other light is a pink one. Then again, I suppose that shouldn't be surprising. Pink is related to red, and red projects the farthest. *shrug* Yay for science. There's a lot of yay in this post.

I have no idea what I want to cook for dinner. I forgot to pull stuff out. Including bread. Dur. I'll think of something. After I let my body decompress and my brain stops spinning from going around the tree eighty-million times... @.@ Spinning bad.

I probably looked like such a dope earlier too, when I was cleaning the living room. Am I the only one that dances randomly while Swiffer-ing? My dance moves SUCK. lol.

Sooo yeah. The tree is up, the living room is clean, and I'm hungry but too lazy to get up and make something right now. Yep. All's well.

Ciao,

Lynx

I Did It Again.

Damn these knees... Though I suppose I can count myself lucky this time; Just a pop, not a full dislocation. Seriously though... ASKASFJSDLJFKSJF!!! Yeah.

I think I'm gonna have to do a post every time it happens, from now to July, since that's when the first dislocated knee happened, just to see how many times in a year this can happen. Hopefully it will stay at four, but to be honest, I'm not that optimistic.

Irritating. I need a bubble. Or a hamster wheel. Or something. I had a knee brace once-- borrowed it from my cousin. Gave it back since I could never figure out which knee to put it on. They're both loose and funky and messed up and ANNOYING AS... Y'know what? I'm over it.

My body's not. Apparently this hurts. (If the shaking hands, blurry vision, and spiked body temperature are reliable indicators.) But I'm good at ignoring pain. So if I say it doesn't hurt, then it doesn't.

It doesn't hurt.

Since I don't want the entire post to be about my faulty knees, I'll write something else.

...Shit.
Oh! Oh, I know! I finished one of the edges for the blanket I'm knitting. Got it all attached and everything. Now there's just one more to go and I'm all set. ^^

Can't believe Thanksgiving is this week. Ugh, where did the year go? I still have so much that needs to be done. Speaking of which, I forgot to buy apples the last time I was out grocery shopping. Can't make apple crisp without apples, so I guess another shopping trip is in order. Yay.

What else, what else? Gosh, is my life really that boring when I'm not injuring myself? That's depressing. >.>

Alright. I'm thirsty. I'm going to grab a glass of water, go to bed and pretend that this *flails at knee* didn't happen.

Ciao,

Lynx

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."

                                                                                                          --Albert Einstein.

Stuff Happens

Yep. Couldn't think of a better title for the post. Almost wrote the date and left it there.
So. As was predicted, our open house didn't do very well. *shrug* Worth a try though.
Anyway, I later discovered that I had shingles. Which is weird, 'cause I JUST turned 22, and you usually don't get shingles 'til you're fifty or older. But my body's always been kind of weird, so I guess I can't be too puzzled if it suddenly thinks it's fifty. -.-

Oh, right. I'm back in school. Thank God. I've lost so much time. *sigh* I'm not sure there was a right way to handle the house and my schooling without someone getting hurt somewhere along the line. So even though some of my loans are entering repayment, I'll just have to deal. I'll figure it out. I always do.

I can't believe the year is almost over. Lately it just feels like there's not enough time in the day to do everything I need to. That nagging voice in the back of my head keeps not-so-subtly reminding me that I'm taking on way too much, trying to do more than any one person could accomplish, and in an unrealistic amount of time. But, you know, that's the only way I know how to do these things. It's always been like this, so I don't know how to lay off and not work myself into the ground.

I'm not worried about stress; this is nothing new, and no one's dying this time, so that's good. I'll probably get sick from it a few times, but those bouts only last about a week, so I'll be fine.

Today is one of those rare days where I actually have a surprising amount of free time. I'll spend it knitting. I'm almost done with this blanket I'm making-- just the edges to do and it'll be all done. So proud of myself for coming so far on it. And it looks great, too. I'll definitely be taking pictures once it's finished. I just hope I get it done in time to ship out for Christmas. I should... There's not all THAT much left to do. So yeah, I'll just get to that.

Ciao,

Lynx

"Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time' is to say 'I don't want to.'"

                                                                                                                  --Lao Tzu

I Messed Up.

It was a mistake to put my schooling on hiatus while we prepared to sell our house and move. I should have stood firm against it. I should have seen this coming. And, at least partially, I did. But damn, that doesn't make it sting any less.

I put my dreams, my future on hold. So we could go after my mom's dreams and plans. I figured that a fresh start in a new place would be good for us both. I just hoped that everything would be over and done with before my mother said "Screw it."

Missed it.
'Cause that's what just happened.

So here I am, trying to drag her butt along to get this house ready for an open house tomorrow. She doesn't think we're going to get any interest.

Of course we won't if we don't even try... And her response was "whatever."
Whatever? WHATEVER?! She's fifty-two frecking years old and the only response she can come up with is whatever?! Gods above, I have patience, and tact, and empathy, but that only goes so far. Especially when she also mentioned that she doesn't care.

Doesn't care about what, exactly?
About the fact that I'm now the one trying to get this thing going again?
Or the one doing the vast majority of the work?
How 'bout how I'm trying to get her motivated and stay optimistic? (Which is really hard, btw)

Is it the house?
She doesn't care if it sells or not?
Well she should've thought about that BEFORE she put it on the damn market.

Or does she not care that I took six (very valuable) months off my schooling so we could have a shot at this?
That's what hurts me the most.
I was willing to do this for her, and now that things are tough and not going perfectly, she "doesn't care."

And I'm supposed to just be okay with that? I'm not. That's a really, awful, hurtful thing to say.

I thought that after everything we've gone through she'd at least understand by now that life doesn't always go the way we plan it to. Sometimes we get dealt a shitty hand, and there's nothing we can do but play it as best we can and hope the next round is better. Guess I overestimated her.

Too bad for me, though, 'cause we're in this, and I'm NOT letting us back out. She might half-ass her way through things and give up when it doesn't go her way, but not me. I finish what I start. I'm gonna sell this house. I'll find a way. And if I can't find a way, then I'll MAKE one. 'Cause that's how I do things.

And on that, I have a floor to mop, and cookies to bake. Let's hope for a few bites on this house tomorrow, yeah? And even if not, I'm not giving up.

Ciao,

Lynx

"I'd rather fight, and lose, then give up without even trying!"

                                                                        --Vanille, Final Fantasy XIII