Dammit...

Dammit, dammit, dammit, DAMMIT. >.<

Seriously, WHAT THE HELL?!

I just dislocated my other knee. Like... Maybe twenty minutes ago. Probably less. This is getting troublesome.
*sigh* Dammit.

I need to talk to someone about this; it can't continue. I won't allow it.

Frustrating. Really, really frustrating. There's always something, isn't there?

For my part, I forced myself up off the floor and made myself walk. I have a crutch at my bedside now, because I'm sure that by tomorrow... well, later today, when I get up, my leg won't be able to bear weight.

My hands are still shaking a bit from the pain of it, but you know... I think my ass hurts more than my leg. I think I hit my bedframe or something on the way down. That's sure to bruise. -.-

It's funny. I don't know whether I should be proud for my stubbornness in getting up so quickly, or if I should call myself a moron. Heh. Probably both.

Great. Frecking peachy. Another three (two, if I can force it) days of being laid up, generally unable to move. ... Didn't I just frecking do this?!

*headdesk* I hate this Gods-damned body.

Good thing I didn't get rid of those stupid crutches... >.>

Lynx

Is This Supposed to be a Joke? 'Cause It's NOT Funny.

On the one hand, you don't want to believe that your own relatives would want to do something like this. Certainly not on purpose. But at the same time, you know them well enough that the situation seems very plausible and you can't force yourself to be surprised.

What is with this family?

My uncle is a contractor. He was the one who did the majority of the renovations to our house in 2010. However, there were a few things left unfinished that we needed him to take care of before we got our house on the market. My mother asked him to handle these things in February, to which he replied that he had a few jobs to finish up before hand. No big deal. Except, February is long gone and he STILL hasn't come to do what he said he was going to. He doesn't have time to fix the ceiling in our garage, but he does have time to drop over and cut my grass (after yelling at me for not getting out at the crack of eight in the morning) for three hours. >.>

While that may be irritating, that's not the cause of my current frustration. We got someone else to fix the ceiling. There was one other thing that my uncle "took care of" for us. We have an out building-- it used to have a pool in it but it's been long filled in. Anyway, the realtor said that we needed to have access to the building, which was a problem since it had been boarded up after some neighborhood brats decided to trespass and blab to their moms about it. Wouldn't ya know, the police were called in to threaten us with a heavy fine if we didn't close off the "dangerous space." Anyway, now that the building needs to be open again, we had to put a door on-- with a lock, obviously-- and we had to practically beg my uncle to do so. He did, and handed us the keys, saying they worked just fine and see you later, etc. We handed off the spare keys to the realtor...

They're the wrong keys. So, in other words, my uncle lied to us, knowing full well that the realtor wouldn't be able to show that building to potential buyers, which could be a deal breaker for many. Maybe it was an accident, and I'd like to believe that it was but... Our relatives have made it quite clear that they're against our moving. (Why it's any of their business I'm not sure.) Knowing that, and how childish and immature these people are known for being... I can't shake the feeling that this was done on purpose.

That's pretty low. To say your doing a favor for your family, then outright lie to them about it so they can't do something you're against. He even accepted the money we paid him for putting the door on. Like it was nothing. Man. Can't even trust my own family anymore, how sad is that?

Ciao,

Lynx

"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool."

                                                                  --Stephen King

Dear Relatives:

YOU are becoming the #1 reason why we want to leave! It's not the weather, the economy, our location or the fact that there are no jobs here... It's the notion of having relatives pop over whenever they please to do whatever...

*sigh*
Apparently my uncle thinks I'm incapable of cutting the grass.
And my aunt (well, everyone, actually) thinks I'm incapable of being a psychologist or finishing college.
What supportive people.

Alright. Ranting done. Unless I find something else to rant about, which is entirely possible.

So May has ended, June and July come and gone, and August almost over and done with. We're still here. The house JUST got put up on the market. Way later than we'd wanted, but I'll take whatever I can get at this point. Hopefully we'll get some offers soon.

June was uneventful. *shrug*

July was almost uneventful, save for the fact that I dislocated and sprained my knee. Yep. And how did I manage this, you ask? Walking. Yep again. So I spent a couple of days on crutches last month, quickly decided that I loathe said crutches and tossed them into my closet. I'm fine now though. Good as new-ish.

Moving on to this month. We got our house up on the market I think two weeks ago. And we've already had three showings. The realtor says that there is a lot of interest in the house and that she thinks it should sell quickly. Good. Except, it could have sold yesterday and it wouldn't have been quick enough for me. I want out of here in the worst way.

Ciao,

Lynx

"Patience is bitter, but it's fruit is sweet."
                                                   --Aristotle

Thoughts Brought On By a Lilac-Scented Breeze

Thoughts and memories drifting in and out...
A smile coming in from my window-- Fresh-cut grass and lilac.
It's lovely. Languid, even. Like my thoughts...
Carried by a warm, gentle breeze.
It's peaceful. Calm. A perfect day to just breathe.
But it's also a perfect day for a thunderstorm.

Beneath that sweet lilac scent, I think I can smell rain.
This must be the calm before the storm.
Another reflection of life. Always changing.

Life, like the weather, has its ups and downs. A warm summer day can quickly turn stormy if the conditions are right. I suppose this is true for people, too.

I see it most at family reunions.

I think the trick to handling life is the same as handling the weather: Enjoy the warm breeze and sunshine, but don't be surprised (or discouraged) when a few storms pop up. Know that the storm will pass .Remember that some storms can come up fast, and sometimes water gets in before we can shut our windows. It's okay. Water dries. Wounds heal.

Sometimes it rains hard, and sometimes for many days. Take solace in knowing that it can't rain forever, and that the sun will shine again, even if it's not quite as soon as we'd sometimes want.

Remember also that what appear to be storm clouds on the horizon may turn out to be nothing more than a summer shower, necessary for those nice smelling lilacs to flourish. Don't sweat the small stuff, as they say.

Enjoy you nice days, accept those summer showers and appreciate everything-- good and bad-- as an indispensable part of life. The grass is only green because it rains. Without the occasional thunderstorm, these lilac-scented breezes just wouldn't be as sweet.

Lynx

Repeat Buttons

I think my life is stuck on one. We did terrible at the craft show, by the way. Didn't even come close to breaking even. About one hundred dollars short. *shrug* Oh well, live and learn.

During the craft show, Mom was being nice to me. I realize now that it was only because she wanted my help. Now that she doesn't need me anymore, she's back to being a mean crazy person. And I'm back to hiding in my room, 'cause I don't want to deal with her. No matter what I do or say, it's always wrong or sets her off. I don't try to. I don't even understand why some of these things garner such horrible reactions.

For example: Earlier today, when she got up, I went out and just casually asked what was on her agenda for the day- to see what she'd want my help with, or if we needed to go anywhere. I do this ALL THE TIME. And it's fine. Well, it was fine, anyway. She answered, but it was pretty curt. I assumed she was just still a little groggy or something. Then I asked if she happened to have  tape-measure at her desk; I wanted to measure my wrist, since all these bracelets I made are quite big on me, and I thought I'd made them about seven inches. Since I couldn't quite get the tape to cooperate, I asked if she would measure for me.

She chewed my head off before I even finished asking. O.o She said, and I quote, "Do you MIND if I finish eating, PLEASE." Said with the b-witchy tone and death glare to match. I said it was fine and all, and asked if something was wrong, since she seemed so edgy.

Apparently I was throwing all this stuff at her right after she got up and she wanted to finish breakfast in peace. She even took the time to mock the three questions I asked her and tag an exasperated, "And its like, Oh, MY GOD." at the end.

So I said never mind. I decided that if she's going to be like that and snap at me for speaking with her- it's not like I was nagging her and telling her to hurry up so we could get stuff done- then I really don't want to be around her. We were going to run a few errands today, but I'm pretty sure that's gonna have to wait. I'm not sure I feel like playing the mother figure to a fifty-one year old woman who acts like she's two more often than not.

I don't get her sometimes. Well, most times, actually. I can't figure this out. She says she's feeling better with her depression, but I'm having some second thoughts here. This snapping at people for ridiculous reasons was exactly how I was when my depression first started getting out of control. I think she lies at her therapy sessions. She doesn't like to be open OR analyzed OR told that she's at least part of the problem, if not the sole instigator. I can easily see her telling some sugary, syrupy story to convince her therapist that everything's fine and dandy over here. And her therapist can't telepathically know she's lying. Maybe I should accompany my mother to one of these appointments and set the record straight. there are definitely some problems here, and they need to be fixed quickly before I lose whatever's left of my patience and/or sanity.

So, anyway... Holed up in my room, where things are calm and I can think and sort out my thoughts without the fear of offending someone. Haha... Mom said she wanted to rearrange the living room to get the Christmas tree up today. Hope she doesn't want help with that, 'cause I think I'm gonna be VERY busy all of a sudden today. Avoiding her is a full-time job, you know. Takes mad skillz. ;)

Ciao,

Lynx

So, I've Been Busy.

Yeah. Yep. Still have a 4.0 in my classes though, so I'm pretty proud of that. I guess I'll just do a quick recap of what's gone on since September.

October was pretty quiet, except for Mom's occasional outburst... Or, maybe not so occasional. -.- Was getting ready for this craft show my mom decided to drag me into. She didn't even ask, really. She just said, "We're doing this; make stuff."

Originally, I was going to knit up some fingerless gloves, but soon realized they take too long to make for such a short-notice thing. I managed three pairs, but I think I'll save them and sell them at a later time when I have more.

November. I turned 21. Twenty-frickin-one! I wasn't really that excited about it, but I DID get a new tattoo. It's purty. lol We went up to Traverse City too, for that beading weekend thing. It was alright, if I pretend Mom didn't complain and be a total killjoy most of the time. >.> She's so negative. *sigh* The rest of the month was pretty quiet.

Now it's December. I started my first math class through Argosy. *shiver* I hope I can pull this one off; math has always, ALWAYS been my nemesis. Anyway... I've been making Kumihimo bracelets (Japanese braiding) for this craft show, but now I'm not so sure I even want to be a part of it. I usually work in my room- it's where I'm most comfortable and I can listen to whatever kind of music I want without hearing my mom and her snide comments. I went out to grab a snack and my mom- who was working in the kitchen- gives me this death glare. When I inquired as to why, she said that MY CAT had made a big mess, and because it was my cat then, by extension, it was my fault.

Gimme a break. It's not like I put the cat up on the island with orders to pounce in her glitter. I was justifiably irritated; I mean, SERIOUSLY? Sheesh. So I just grabbed a snack and went back in my room to finish my bracelet. After that was done, I went out to see what could be done about lunch. She was still fuming, and I mentioned that I expected an apology. She didn't give me one then, and when I demanded (Yes, I can do that now) an apology, she said it the most sneering, unconvincing way possible.

Well, if she's going to be like THAT, and blame me for everything that goes wrong in her life, she can tackle this craft show on her own. I've got no problems walking away; it wasn't my idea, and she didn't even ask if I wanted to help. Apparently she's also pissed at me because I don't help her get her projects done. I reminded her that I have my own projects to work on- that was the deal, thank you very much. So she yelled at me for waiting until the last minute. Honestly, what is with this woman? Last I checked, none of her stuff was done either. I don't quite understand why my priority needs to be helping her make up for her laziness rather than working on my own stuff. She's never offered to help me out, yet she expects me to drop everything so she'll have more stuff to sell. *headdesk*

Well, she was pretty mad at me for saying that I wasn't going to help her if she was going to treat me like crap, but I don't feel guilty. I think I was in my rights to feel that way. She needs to learn that my world does not revolve around her, and that I'm not going to sugar coat everything and spoon-feed it to her like a child. She's fifty-one years old, if she can't handle me being honest with her by now then she needs to grow up and get a reality check.

*sigh* You know, I still haven't figured out what I want for lunch. Maybe I'll just make some rice or something. We need to go grocery shopping again, I think. Should probably get the dishes done too, before they get out of hand... Laundry needs to be done as well. ... Meh.

Ciao,

Lynx

Post Labor Day Cookout

Yeah. Should've done this yesterday. But I was tired. Happy Labor Day (belated, I know) to those who celebrate it. To those who don't, just go with it.

Anywho, cookout went well as usual, though I'm now nursing a few sunburns. >.> Finally managed to get a video of my family at their... Well, not their best, but it's still an accurate representation of what happens when these people get together for any length of time.

Now, I have a four page paper due tomorrow that I REALLY should be finishing, so ciao.