On one hand, I'm so exhausted that I just want to be alone. I'm to tired to think about anything, let alone the habits of the people around me. I can't read minds at the best of times, let alone when I can almost keep my eyes open. I'm tired of trying to be "the leader" and initiate interaction. It's not my forte anyway, but now I feel like I'd just be a pest. What's more is I'm too tired to state that plainly. I don't have the energy for any kind of confrontation.
And then I just want to be allowed to lay down for a second and let someone else "be the leader." Let someone else start the conversations. Let someone else do the thinking. In that way, I don't want to be alone at all. I don't even know if I make sense right now, I'm so tired.
I've done basically nothing but sleep all day, and I feel, honestly, like I've been hit with something very heavy. The fibromyalgia is flaring up on me and kicking my ass. Everything's foggy, and I can almost make sense of my thoughts. This is the third time I've started this post, and I STILL don't know what I'm trying to say.
Two thoughts.
"Even when I win, I lose."
"Life is not a box of chocolates. Life is an endless game of whack-a-mole."
No comments:
Post a Comment