I wish people would just be honest with me for a change. I can't stand be strung along- No,mom. You're not fine. I wouldn't be hiding in my room for 18 hours straight if you were fine. *sigh* Seems like everyone's like that now. Kinda like when people say, "Oh, yeah. I'll call you tomorrow," and then tomorrow never comes. Granted, I stopped waiting for tomorrow a long time ago, once I figured out that it's just a formality. Something people don't actually intend to do.
Pretty listless today. All my stressing over the last week or so has me pretty much beat. I think I should just accept defeat gracefully. It wouldn't be so bad, really, if I could actually get interested in something. But, for some reason, I don't want to do anything at all. I kinda had to force myself to write this. I can stare out the window for two straight hours, and not remember a single thought. Is that normal? It's like I black out or something. Weird... Oh well, that's two hours that I don't have to worry about, at lest.
My head is pounding at the moment, most probably from dehydration... But I can hear my mom moving about, so I'm not going to go out yet. I can wait.
You know what's funny? I was friends with Lulu for about a year before he/she/it decided to shred what little faith I had in humanity... I've been friends with Nathaniel for a year now... I wonder if he'll do the same thing. It wouldn't surprise me, not really. Not at this point. Pity, I actually like the kid. lol Oh well, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Why bother anyway- it's just another person who doesn't think I'm worth their time. *shrug* Nothing new.
Bear and my letters- those are the only allies I've ever needed. I've always made it through just fine that way. Besides, relying on people gets messy. If you pull through it yourself, you won't owe anyone.
Ciao,
Lynx
"A cynic is someone who knows the cost of everything, and the value of nothing."
-Oscar Wilde
"Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable."
-Bergen Evans
No comments:
Post a Comment